Bad mouthing while trying to sound like a victim

This is something I often notice many whites do. When black people bring up legit cases of racism, many whites will try to make it sound as if they are the victims, not black people. But while they are trying to say blacks are the most racist I often find that whites are usually bad mouthing and saying racist things about blacks while trying to argue that blacks are racist!

Now this "phenomenon" flies over the head of most whites because well, the majority do not really care about racism against minorities. We are a country that looks out for one's own self interests. If we were anything different, America wouldn't have such a racist history and present.

It doesn't help your case about trying to victimize yourself when you at the same time say racist things about the very race you *claim* is the most racist.

The problem is that most white peoples idea of racism is actually more or less, blacks trying to have the same thing as whites.

We still live in a country where blacks are expected to be submissive to the majority race. If they dare become even close to being equal, many whites will pull the race card (ironic how they get mad if blacks dare pull the "race card" but have no objections to using it themselves).

One racist I came across 10 minute ago tried to say blacks were racist because a street was named after MLK. He then said that Obama is racist and said that his being half white saved him. He had the audacity to say that blacks were most racist while doing this! Come on, your argument is sooo invalid because for starters, can you be anymore paranoid? and secondly, saying racist stuff only shows that YOU are the racist, and that the things you percieve as racist is only racist because you are racist.

I once watched a video about how there is a difference between saying someone is racist and saying the action is racist. Saying the action is racist is more effective because it does not attack that person's character, no matter how racist that person is, telling that person they are racist only shuts the argument down and turns into a hate filled fight.

You know, the reality is sometimes with some people you just can't talk about race. Its easy to figure it out early on...if they derail it and make it about themselves and try to victimize rather than hear what you have to say, that means they condone racism, have no reason to change it, an likely subscribe to those racist beliefs and therefore refuse to hear any different.

You can also find other forms of "bad mouthing while trying to be a victim". The most infamous (non-racial) form is when someone does wrong to you and when you try to get sympathy from others you bad mouth the people who do you wrong. Out of anger its common to want to bad mouth the culprit but it makes you look immature and almost deserving of the wrong. In fact, some would argue that when you bad mouth, chances are you were deserving of it, and you are in denial and that is why you are bad mouthing. Sort of like when the teacher fails you because you didn't do the work, you will often bad mouth the teacher for failing you.

You look less like a victim when you bad mouth. When whites bad mouth blacks while trying to look like a victim they often show their racist true colors, which then leads to the next conclusion that they deserved mistreatment they may have gotten from a black person due to those prevalent racist beliefs the white person subscribes to, which (at least if you are a black person) makes you feel less sympathy for that white person.

Essentially the only good way to make yourself look like a victim (for whatever reason) to get sympthy is by doing the following:

• refrain from making judgemental remarks about the culprit. remember bad mouthing the person who did you wrong may give the people you are trying to win sympathy from a reason to side with them and not you. you never know who is friends with who.
  
• focus on the incident at hand. do not talk about what other people you don't even know did to others. this isn't about the actions done by others to other people or even what that person who did you wrong did to others. this should be about what only happened to you.
  
• this leads to the next one, do not speak for other peoples experiences. don't claim that what someone else automatically went through was done for the same reason as what was done to you.
• if you want people to feel your pain, do not try to sound as if you are attacking them. this correlates with the first one, sometimes bad mouthing goes from being just about the individual to an entire group, at that point you will have lost any sympathy from anyone who shares those group characterisitics.
• talk about how it made you feel. do not use "you" words.
  
• do not sit yourself up on a high horse and act as if you are above humanity. For examlple, some people use Christianity to justify or to somehow make what someone else did was wrong. behavior like this is why many are no longer Christians, no wants to believe in something a hypocrite believes in. So do not put yourself on a high horse.
• Admit to any faults you may have had in a situation. People will sometimes hear you out more or will sympathize with you more if you are willing to admit to any wrongs that may have encouraged the opposite's behavior, people can sometimes tell when you are lying and trying to make yourself out to be a victim when you are not.
• Your audience matters, if you are trying to get a hardened person to pity or feel bad for you, none of what was mentioned above will help you. This type doesn't waste pity or sympathy for anyone at all. So the person matters.

This isn't foolproof but its certainly more helpful than the way most people go about it.