"Are you mixed?"

Mixed people have probably at some point in their life, often from blacks and other biracials, have been asked "are you mixed?"

It is a question that is both burdensome and not a burden at the same time. How so? It gets annoying being asked several times if you are mixed, but at the same time its a relief too because most mixed people want to be seen as mixed, they want the world to know they have a parent that is of a different race.

This phenomenon often occurs during the middle school years...the pattern is usually like this:

1. elementary school: you know you are different from others, but it isn't too big of a deal to really phase you, that is if you attend a school that is diverse enough that you are not the only person of color...otherwise it may affect you.

2. middle school: everyone starts realizing they are different, in some way or form, and everyone starts splitting off into their own groups of people with similarities. Often the biracial, will find that they fit better with whites, yet may not quite belong as they may be considered "too black" for them. It is at this time many biracials and blacks will ask the question "are you mixed?" usually this is asked because they want an explanation for why you are the way you are.

3. High school: the question gets asked a little less, but is sometimes still asked by others most just make their own conclusions and assumptions or just don't care.

4. Post high school (and college): very few if any will ask if you are mixed, most by this point will assume you are black until otherwise. For some at this point, being seen as black no longer phases you or as problematic as it may have been before, you also become more steady in being you and allow yourself to be proud of who you are, even if no one else sees it. You start to find your racial identity, if not your identity as a whole.

Some people feel that they must say they are just "american"in response to this question as others are more rude. People get this way not so much because of being asked, but because the fact that one is too different from the norm...exotic.

Exotic is an insult to a biracial person. Whites think its a compliment but its not. Its kind of disturbing.