The hardest part about being biracial?

Sometimes people are genuinely interested in knowing what the hard parts about being biracial is. Sometimes people want to know cause they are expecting and they want to be aware of some things with their own, and others just want to know out of sheer curiosity. I am the type that is not bothered by being asked questions about being biracial. It interests me that others are interested in wanting to know.

One thing that I have always pondered is "what is the hardest part about being biracial?". Most answers to these questions would usually have something to do with acceptance or being seen as what you are rather than be labeled something you are not. But for me, I would say the hardest part was being raised white in a world where I am never going to be looked at as white or even half white. I say this because the problem with being raised white when you are not is that you fail to see the world realistically. A white person can surely pretend racism doesn't exist and it will never bother them. They don't have to worry about shopping while black or driving while black. They can say they have black friends or that they are unrealistically "colorblind" and people will applaud them even when the reality is they are most likely racist or condone racism. But if you are a person of color and you do these same things, most minorities would say you are digging your own grave.

But I would have to say its hard growing up in a white world and not getting the warnings and info about the realities for being a person of color. Black kids more than likely get the "talk" from their parents about how police may attack you for simply being black and will play it off as you just being a suspect and they won't apologize and they will get away with it.

In the times I have dealt with the police, I instinctively knew that these guys could kill me and they certainly won't hesitate since they do not value my life one bit. I didn't have to be told that, I guess I knew because I knew racially I was still a 2nd class citizen. But I didn't get the tips on how to deal with racism.

Its hard being a person of color and being raised in a conservative white family that tunes themselves out from racism. When me and my mom were at the grocery store a few years back and I was followed, it made my mom angry and she was about to pick a bone with them if they said anything to me or accused me of something. But since they just followed me and left me alone, she decided not to, and I had to calm her down. I explained to her that it was "shopping while black" and thats just how the world is...my mom preferred to believe it was because I was young that I was being followed...

My mom has said some racist things in the past, and its hard for to realize that I am black also. She prefers to see me as a white girl and its her way of justifying any racist thing she said. She doesn't realize what is wrong with that whole picture.

Not having the black side in my life has caused me to miss out on the side that could help me deal with being black in America. Having my black side in my life would have balanced out being raised in the white world. But because my father was a deadbeat, it just wasn't meant to be. I am essentially learning what all black kids learn, I am only learning it a little late in the game...and worse, I have to learn it for myself as I have had no one to tell me as a kid.