Whats the best way to embrace being biracial?

In a society where your title and your race are considered two different things, where people only care for your race, and not your title, you are often left feeling confused or lost about what to do.

At some point, some biracial people finally get to a point in their life where they want to embrace their title. But the question remains, how?

Some people do blogs, vlogs, start clubs, forums, etc, to unite people alike. For them embracing who they are is by bringing people like them, together.

For others, they prefer to get much more personal than just a blog or vlog or forum. For some they write stories, do poetry. It could be about the life of a biracial person, with a biracial lead. It could be their life story, from the trials to tribulations.

How does one express and embrace being biracial? There is no one way. Some just are, others want to show it and let the world know.

Most say, if you are unwilling to shout something out to the world, then you are ashamed. But I don't think its true. Sometimes, going out of your way to let others know, makes you look like you are unsure, and that you are convincing yourself. To me, one doesn't have to be loud and proud....one just has to know for themselves, and thats what is important.

Some people treat the whole biracial issue the same way they treat Christianity. They must spread the word, and anyone with a slightly different concept of it, is a horrible person that should be banished. I hear too much of Christians of one denomination "damning" those of another denomination to Hell. And biracials do the same, such as how Obama was treated for self identification.

There are so many ways to embrace being biracial, but one should make sure its their own thing, and not forced and that they don't force it on others.

One can start out trying to embrace being biracial through poetry, and they may end up finding themselves embracing being biracial, simply by just being themselves. There is no one way or best way to do it in the end.

Colorblind Societies do more damage.

This whole colorblind phenomenon thats going on is what I consider people condoning racism. Essentially when someone says "I have black friends" or "I don't see race", they are applauded and are allowed to say whatever they want about another race because of it...and then you hear everyone say we are all equal...and the reality is, we are not. If we were all equal, racism would be gone. The playing field is never going to be level.

If you are a minority, its especially dangerous to believe the whole colorblind nonsense, since, you get the brunt of most racism. People use the whole "colorblind" thing, to avoid racism, its just as bad as race talk derailers.

When you look at interracial relationships, many will try to be "colorblind" about it. The same way with their kids. My belief is that just causes more trouble, especially if one parent is not in their life. Lets face it, they are different from most kids. The interracial relationship IS different, because 2 different races that hate each other are together, and will not get a good reception for it. It takes alot of work to make interracial relationships work. When you go into them, you go in because you really want it to work...why waste time for a fling?

When raising the kids, biracial kids need more attention, you not only raise them like the rest of the kids out there, but you have to do a little bit more. A biracial kid is biracial, not mono-racial...you have to help them navigate a world, where their skin is different from the parent (and/or family). You have to make sure to give them a little bit from each side of their family. To well round them. You have to be more realistic about how society will be towards them.

I think the problem with the whole "colorblind" approach in society is that it causes people to look at the world the way they want it to be, rather than what it is.

In the end, the problems only get worse, because people won't wake up and address them. When black people want to shove the ills of the black race under the rug, I can understand why, but at the same time, I feel, we must fix those problems in order to better our race. Lets face it, since Civil Rights, the black race went down hill. People finally got some rights, and instead of using that to their advantage, and do what the Jews and Natives, and Asians did, they just demanded more rights instead....blacks will never be looked at as individuals or anything, but if the black race could be better, like the Natives and Asians, then we would not have to be reliant on whites, and can leave white people to their racism.

The problem with white people is that they often justify subtle racism. Racism is socially acceptable, if its not blatant (and in some cases even blatant racism is okay). A colorblind society doesn't affect white people as much. They are the standard, everything is catered to them. But if you are a minority, the colorblind look at society, could hurt you, because its unnrealistic, and just covers the truth.

In the end, people should just accept the problems going on, and rather than hide them, fix them.

How can I forget??

LOL...whenever people talk about biracials, and how mostly black men go for white women, and rarely white men go for black men...i always agree.

Even though I like white men, its extremely extremely, utterly beyond belief, extremely rare to see WM/BW (that includes mulatto females too) relationships, which isn't too surprising since my city has major racial and segregation issues.

But I pretty much always agree with people on the whole "there are more biracial kids from white women, and black men". I would usually say, I see many at the store(s) and people I knew in school.

And its weird...because I always seem to forget that I am one of those results of those statistics. I always forget that my mom is white, and my dad is black.

Is it normal to forget yourself or to include yourself or to realize you are a result of those statistics? Maybe it has to do with the fact that my dad was never in my life....

A Note.

If you have read my blog, or have checked out other blogs, then hopefully you have figured out that my blog along with many others, especially on the mulatto topic, are just opinions, formulated on our own experiences.

So I guess what I am saying is...I merely put whats going on in my mind at the moment into blog format...sometimes I will contradict myself.

I am 20...so I am still figuring out what I want and how to get it.

Also just a note...I pretty much refrain from arguing on my blog...if a comment upsets me or annoys me, or whatever, I will just delete it. A comment could stay in moderation for an unlimited time, whether its because I haven't been on for a while or whether its because I am not sure if I want to allow it....

I am picky about the comments I allow.

Is saying one is "biracial", trying to denounce being black?

I got a comment (that I have yet to decide what I want to do with), on one of my posts. Essentially, I upset the commenter, because I stated that black people are not biracial.

She then brought up the topic, and directed me to someone's post about it. She pretty much stated that we are denouncing our blackness, because of the stigmas that come with being black in America (if not the world).

I have read many comments on Youtube videos, on other peoples blogs, by black people, who feel that by saying you are biracial, you are therefore denouncing your black side.

Is this true? for some, it really is true. There are negative stigmas that come with being black, people don't hate the race, they hate the rules...so when some see their chance out (such as being light enough to pass), they take it. Others though, claim themselves as black even if they are biracial, for their own personal reasons. And some do not see themselves as black at all, and prefer to embrace both sides.

The commenter pretty much was saying that blacks are mixed. We all know about the rapes in slavery...but the thing I keep saying is that there is a difference between directly mixed and indirectly mixed. Are there blacks who are lighter than me, who are not directly mixed? yes.

Naturally, one will see someone who claims themselves as biracial instead of black, as someone who hates blacks, when they have a skewered perception as to what is black and what is biracial.

Many biracials in history and even today, have been right along side many blacks fighting battles for equality.

Its not that biracials hate being black, its just that some want to be seen as what they are accurately (aka Politically correct) way.

When you are like me, and you are raised ONLY by your white mom, and her side of the family, you do not get much black influence in your life. I was raised in white culture, and my family have some racist views about blacks (most of it being generalizations they had about all blacks), and it left an impression on me...it made me hate black people too. Eventually I grew out of that. Do I like black people who like the gangsta/ghetto image? No I do not. But that does not mean I hate the black race. I sometimes consider myself black, depending on the situation and/or mood.

But sometimes I also consider myself biracial.

Biracial, is someone who is of 2 races. Multiracial, is someone of 2 or more races. When people talk about biracial people, no one is referring to some slave and slave master from hundreds of years ago.

When I say I am biracial, I am not denouncing my black side. Many (if not most), biracials are raised by their white side, therefore we are often not seen as "black enough"...yet we are chided for saying we are biracial. Most blacks have not, at least to my face, given me problems over it. They would ask if I were biracial, just like the other biracial kids, and I would reply yes, and they would shake their heads, as if that explained everything.

Maybe many of us biracials do not feel black in some ways. I feel like I can relate to blacks when it comes to racial matters, but other than that, I feel as though I cannot relate to blacks. I crush on white guys and asian guys and other mixed guys, more than I do black guys. I was raised only by the white side of my family, so its kind of hard at times to remember you are black too.

Society is changing...we went from where blatant racism was socially acceptable, to where closeted racism is only socially acceptable, there is still more to go before American society truly does begin to live up to its word.

While some biracials denounce their black side and hate their black side...some do not, they just simply also want people to see their white side...their whiteness may not appear physically (or mentally or culturally), but it may appear in their parent or family, and when you want people to know things about you, you want them to know the right things.

I often let people make their own assumptions about me and my race. Sometimes I will off-handedly mention I am biracial. Sometimes I will correct someone when they say something about my race...and sometimes I won't. Me being biracial, does not mean I will be seen any different from black people. Biracial people are hated just as much, if not more, by racists and supremacists.

REPRESENTATION

Okay this post is not so much about biracial, this has to do with Kanye West.

I did not, and do not plan to watch the VMAs. I do not like Kanye West, nor do I like Taylor Swift. I hate rap, and I hate country (even if she does a little bit of pop, I do not like her brand of country pop the way I like Leann Rimes').

I heard about the incident through Facebook...and amazingly it did not take long for white people to start blaming his race for how he acted. One of my Facebook friends mentioned how white people on a few posts were saying all sorts of things about the black race because of what Kanye did. He also mentioned how a few blacks would chime in saying that there was a difference between being black and being a "nigger" (think Chris Rock's sketch).

If its one thing that annoys me, its how because you are black, you are not seen as an individual in society. If 10 blacks do good, all it takes is 1 to unravel it. We are not given the same opportunity like whites are.

Do I really care about what Kanye did? No, i don't care. I don't care for the incident, for all we know it could have been staged.

It is irritating having to hear people constantly talk about it all fucking day long, repeating over and over the same opinion they stated a moment before. Some people getting Michael Jackson into the conversation. Its weird, Patrick Swayze just died, and people care more about what happened at the VMAs!!

But its not the incident that I am upset by...its the fact that the entire black race is being blamed for the actions of Kanye West. Race has nothing to do with this situation at all.

Sometimes I feel like I have to act a certain way, because I am "representing" my race. What I mean is, when you are of color, all it takes is doing one bad thing, and you will ruin their perception of people of your race forever...there is no such thing as individuality when you are black.

Kanye was a one man show. Apparently Beyonce turned on him later that show, yet that seems to ignored...

People wonder why I hate society, well, there is part of the reason right there.

A Revolving Feeling.

America's racial system is far different from others (such as Brazil and South Africa). America has what I call, a "simplified" way of looking at race. It is not a fair or nice system, it is just a simplified way of looking at race.

In other words, the system looks at you based on the outer appearance, and that is how you will be treated.

So, being biracial, sometimes I feel like a black person. I am seen as black in society, and have dealt with racism just like many other blacks. But sometimes I feel like I hit a rough patch. Culturally I feel like I relate more with my white side, yet racially I relate better with my black side. Which I am sure I am not the only one out there like that...but sometimes, whenever black people talk about the going ons of the black race, sometimes I feel like I am not included.

Its hard to know when you are considered part of the problem in the conversations whites and blacks have about race. Some have outwardly said they hate mixed people and get into a whole list on that.

Some have said, they are okay with mixed people but not black people. I guess what I am saying is, when you are biracial, you are sometimes the exception to the rule, and other times, you are apart of the rule and not the exception.

Sometimes when I read blogs or articles pertaining to black people, I ask myself that question, am I included or not? I ask it not only as a biracial girl, but a "light skinned black girl", as there seems to be a rift in the community over who has it easier or better....

What I am trying to say is that, when can I or can't I relate to something? Its a revolving feeling. I can relate, yet I am not supposed to. Sometimes, I am supposed to relate, but am unable to. Some people want you to relate, and others do not want you to relate.

It can be a confusing feeling...most people think the confusion biracial people go through is "picking sides", or not being accepted by either or both sides....but for most people, that gets resolved, but the confusion that probably never goes away, is the question of Can I or am I supposed to relate?